Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
