I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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