So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize