so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
