sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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