i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
wow bdsm is so cute
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
