I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
