Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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