did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
