after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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