Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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