I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize