people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
