Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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