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Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
