You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
