I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize