just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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