1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
