Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize