oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
