Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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