Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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