She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
is that a dick in a sweater?
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