What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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