Sponge bath it is.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
