I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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