the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
