I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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