just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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