Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
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this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
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More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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