Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
