Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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