So gin and wine won't be happening again
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
