I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
