it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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