Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
