he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
