i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
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There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
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