I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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