weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize