The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
