Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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