its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
