Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
not ubering you a puppy
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize