wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I am available for nakedness
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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