I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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