I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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