if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
