I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
