whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
