The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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