the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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