i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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