Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
