So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
