Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
