He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My pussy is not your playground.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
