You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
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