I feel like abortions should bother me more
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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