Your tits are I can't wait for
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
