is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
