please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
